1. Have you ever noticed when you go to the hair dresser and you tell them you want to do something totally different they look at you and say, "well what are you thinking?" Sir or Ma'am...this is why I come to you. You went to school for this shit, aren't you supposed to know what's in and what will or will not look good on me? You don't go to the doctor (or your lovely PA) and tell them what your diagnosis is and what medicine to prescribe. That's my job. And it's your job to tell me what you think will look fabulous on me. On a side note, I love my hair dresser. This is just a random thought that I had recently from hair stylists in the past.
2. While we're on the topic of beauty....an eight year old getting Botox for wrinkles?! Seriously?! SRSLY?! WTF is this psychotic mother thinking?! Child, please. There is no way you have flipping wrinkles at eight years old. I would put money on it that this child is going to end up anorexic and on drugs. My biggest fear at eight years old was whether or not the boy who sat next to me in class picking his nose gave me cooties or not, not whether or not I had a wrinkle or two. I'm the one who needs a little Botox. Give me a break and go play in the sand box or something.
3. So I've done a crap load of driving over the past few months. STL to Danville to STL to KC to Pitt to KC to Manhattan to KC. You get the point. Did everyone forget how to drive? LEFT LANE FOR PASSING ONLY. Apparently the 9,000 drivers I've encountered over the past few months can't read that street sign. It makes me so angry when I'm cruising down the highway and I have to flippin' put on my breaks thus canceling my cruise control because some retard driver pulls in to the lane in front of me and takes their jolly ass time. SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT. Please keep this in mind next time you're driving down the highway or I'm probably going to rear end your turtle bumper.
4. Strong is the new skinny? Ok, that's legit...I guess. But is it just me or is this chick on the skinny side as well? If strong is the new skinny, shouldn't the advertisement be of a woman who is maybe a little more "big boned" to make the chubbies feel better that they can bench 125 lbs? Don't get me wrong, her body is hot. But I'm just a little confused. Just sayin'....
5. We've all made the mistake once or twice of showing our bra straps. Before the multifunctional straps that can be attached and reattached 5,000 different ways, it was sometimes difficult to cover your bra straps when wearing a racer back tee or a spaghetti string shirt. And well, strapless bras straight up SUCK and I'm positive they were invented by some man who has never worn a bra in his life. There's really no excuse these days. So, just an FYI...I really don't want to see your PINK Vicky's bra straps even if they match your stupid dress with PINK plastered on the ass that I'm pretty sure was intended to be a nighty worn in the privacy of your own home. It reminds me of the fad when it was "cool"(and I use that term VERY lightly) to show your g-string out of your jeans. I hope this chick enjoyed her movie.
6. Holy dirty dot (aka Wyandotte county). Is this car for real?! Stab me in the eye. Aren't we over the vampire fad yet?! Dear Hey-Sus. This is just embarrassing. Even funnier...after I snapped this pic at a stop light and passed this car shaking my head and giggling, I realized the driver...was a dude...probably Twilight Mom's 3rd baby daddy. So you're obsessed with the Twilight Saga...that's fine...I get obsessions. But to plaster it on your car?! Even my most obsessed friend, Ren wouldn't be caught dead with this shit on her car. Somethings are meant to be kept to yourself. I guess when your child doesn't bring home honor roll bumper stickers or decals, you gotta fill the windows with something...
Phew...I feel so much better now that I've gotten all of that off my chest.
-Stay Sassy, xo