Dear KC Part II

Dear KC -

I know I left you hanging with my last post, but I had some things to finish up.  I've loved, loved, LOVED being back in Kansas City.  Being back with friends has been more than amazing and so much fun, to say the very least.  With many of you, it was like I was never gone.  We immediately picked right back up where we left off and I feel like I was never gone.  Thanks to the many welcome back drinks and shots, I think I may have gained a small percentage of my tolerance back that I seemed to have lost over the past two years in PA School.  I wish I could individually thank each and every one of you, but I know I'd inadvertently miss someone and then, boom...I'm the bad guy.  Many of you I didn't get to hang out with nearly enough and some of you I didn't even get to see.  I wish I had more time.

Now on to the lessons in love/lust I've been taught and/or reminded of.

KC, over the past 6 weeks you taught me what it means to "hang out."  Last time I checked, when you asked someone if they wanted to hang out, that meant you wanted to spend time with them, get to know them better...and maybe stay sober.  Apparently, not anymore.  I felt like I was singing another verse in that stupid Tim McGraw song, Back When.  NEWS FLASH..."Hang out" is now code for, "Hey do you want to come over so I can have sex with you?"  Total letdown.  I actually kind of liked this guy - which is actually huge for me considering I've been anti-boys for the past year - until I realized he only wanted to "hang out" the second way and not the first.  Woof.  

You also reminded me meeting love interests happens when you least expect it.  Except, even when you least expect it, timing is still everything.  I met plaid shirt guy one random Thursday night at Kona Grill.  We had been eyeing each other all night and he was yet to approach me.  A few glasses of wine later and after a pep talk from a friend, I decided to make the first move and approach him.  We had wonderful conversation and plaid shirt was really impressing me.  Until I found out he was moving to Chicago.  Bummer.  

We went out on a date anyway and it was amazing.  Complete gentleman.  Smart. Successful.  Really seemed like he had his shit together.  So we hung out a second time before he left - and by that I mean the first definition of hanging out - what I thought hanging out was...sober.  He kept saying all these sweet things to me and acted like he was totally in to me asking about my life, my career, etc.  He even shared with me how he told his boss and his boss's wife all about me (I mean I am kind of a big deal).  Plans of a trip to Chicago were spoken of leading me to believe he wanted to continue talking after he left to see what could happen.  After all, STL is closer to Chicago than KC - which he actually pointed out.  Yea, right...I almost believed it.  Since, the only time I've heard from him was when I texted him to make sure he made it to Chicago okay.  Just as I expected.  Double woof.

So KC, I guess it comes down to this.  We have a love-hate relationship with one another.  I love you for my friends and being close to my family.  I love you for the Plaza and the Falloon.  I love you for First Fridays and Sol Cantina.  I love you for Prairie Village, Mission Hills and the Zinn's.  I love you for reminding me how far I've come over the past two years. But I hate you for my love life - or lack there of.  So that leaves me with this... 

...Bring it on Dallas.  Show me the sweet southern gentleman I deserve.  I'm ready.

-Stay Sassy, xo

Dear KC Part I

Dear KC -

Thank you for ALMOST restoring my faith in relationships, men...and I dare I say it...l-l-l-l...nope can't do it.  For about 10 days I almost thought I'd met a few decent chaps...turns out their crap like the rest of them.  Sorry boys.

Proof and stories still to come.  I'm overwhelmed this week working on my massive project I'll be presenting Friday as part of my requirements for the PA Program at SLU in front of the entire faculty and PA Program - both 2011s (me) and the 2012s.  WOOF.

Love to you all...well most of you.

-Stay Sassy, xo

Hey you.

It's Memorial Day weekend - thinking back to holidays past and remembering great times with friends and others.  It seems like seriously just yesterday we were partying at 45 Madison, taking over the pool and being sillies.  I'm loving being back in KC.  I feel like I haven't ever been gone and I'm actually pretty bummed I only have a week and a half left.  Not much compares to being surrounded by my fabulous friends and my "psuedo"-roomies, drinking wine on the porch and listening to Colbie Caillat, loving life.  I hope everyone is having a great holiday where ever you are and how ever you may be celebrating or enjoying yourself.  And of course, thank you to those of you who have risked your lives for our country and freedom.


This song reminded me of....ish.

-Stay Sassy, xo

Adolescent minds

I love medicine.  That's been well established.  In medicine, as we go through school - especially clinical rotations, we all try to find our niche.  I think it's safe to say I haven't narrowed my interests down.  At this point I've completed four rotations.  But even before starting rotations, before going to PA school, back as far as I can remember, I've loved kids.  They're awesome.  Yes I say that knowing I do not have any children and I only have to deal with them for 20 minutes at the most at an appointment or for a few hours while babysitting.  I have an escape.  Adolescents are great.  They're so young and innocent and the world seems so simple to them.  Life is almost black and white, maybe with a few shades of gray, but not many.  This was confirmed yet again today.

The first story I've already shared via FB as my status.  I got to the office this morning and Dr. Metz had done a quick tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy (T&A) on an eight year old boy we saw in the office last week.  He asked Dr. Metz this morning where his hottie PA from St. Louis was.  I mean seriously kid?  You're eight years old and you're already hitting on women almost 3 times your age?!  I couldn't help but laugh and think to myself...oh dear, that mom is going to have it out with that horn ball!

Once again, later this afternoon the simplicity of life to a seven year old boy was confirmed.  This particular boy was also being seen for throat issues, snoring and recurrent strep throat.  We found out he had a few tonsillar stones in the past that had been dislodged.  While many of you probably have no idea what the heck I'm talking about, a tonsillar stone is a calcium deposit in your tonsils.  They frequently increase in size and sometimes pop out.  They smell absolutely HORRIBLE and can be a major cause of halitosis (bad breath).  So, making conversation with the boy I said, "You don't have to worry about that do you?  You aren't kissing girls are you?!"  He looked at me in disgust and shook his head no!  But then, he did make a point to add, "There was a girl that liked me...but I dumped her!  She was the tallest girl in the class!"  Again, I couldn't help but laugh.  If only relationships were as easy as being too tall.

Continuing on with the visit, we got in to the sequelae of untreated strep throat - rheumatic fever, rheumatic heart disease, kidney injury and kidney disease.  While these side effects of untreated strep are rare in the US due to our aggressiveness of treating strep throat, there is still a risk.  Dr. Metz mentioned the rare possibility of kidney disease and without thinking the little boy shouted out, "I don't want kidney disease!  I want to have kids some day!"  He has a lot to learn about sex ed.  But for now, we'll let that seven year old mind believe whatever it wants to believe.

-Stay Sassy, xo

No time to be sassy

This is no time to be sassy...only share my thoughts, love and prayers for all of those affected by the tornado that ripped through Joplin, MO earlier this afternoon.  To some, it may just be another sad story of a natural disaster.  But to me and my community it is more.  I grew up in Pittsburg, KS which is only a quick 30 minute drive to Joplin.  Growing up in Pitt, Joplin was the next largest city we frequently traveled to for shopping as well as birthday dinners and homecoming dates.  Now, I sit in shock watching the national coverage on The Weather Channel and the local coverage on the Kansas City News.  At least 33% of the city is demolished.  So far 24 fatalities have been confirmed.  And I'm sure that's only the beginning.  My stomach is in knots.  I can't even fathom what the city will look like the next time I venture to Joplin.  Will I even recognize the city I grew up frequenting?

Photo courtesy of The New York Times.

My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you affected in any way, shape or form.  To those of you who have rushed over to Joplin to help any way you can, you will also be in my thoughts and prayers.  You are among some of the most compassionate human beings.  I wish I could be there to help.  Not gonna lie, I didn't believe in all of the end of the world bull shit hype, but I can't help but be a little freaked out by the timing of all of this.  My heart goes out to you all.  

☮♥†

Derrr....what the?!

Woof.  So many things have led me to scratch my head over the past few weeks and say....um...what the ____ (fill in the blank).  I'm sure some of them you've stumbled upon...but I'm sharing anyway because it's my blog and I can do what I want to.  Here are just a few...

1. Have you ever noticed when you go to the hair dresser and you tell them you want to do something totally different they look at you and say, "well what are you thinking?"  Sir or Ma'am...this is why I come to you.  You went to school for this shit, aren't you supposed to know what's in and what will or will not look good on me?  You don't go to the doctor (or your lovely PA) and tell them what your diagnosis is and what medicine to prescribe.  That's my job.  And it's your job to tell me what you think will look fabulous on me.  On a side note, I love my hair dresser.  This is just a random thought that I had recently from hair stylists in the past.

2.  While we're on the topic of beauty....an eight year old getting Botox for wrinkles?!  Seriously?!  SRSLY?!  WTF is this psychotic mother thinking?!  Child, please.  There is no way you have flipping wrinkles at eight years old.  I would put money on it that this child is going to end up anorexic and on drugs.  My biggest fear at eight years old was whether or not the boy who sat next to me in class picking his nose gave me cooties or not, not whether or not I had a wrinkle or two.  I'm the one who needs a little Botox.  Give me a break and go play in the sand box or something.  

3.  So I've done a crap load of driving over the past few months.  STL to Danville to STL to KC to Pitt to KC to Manhattan to KC.  You get the point.  Did everyone forget how to drive?  LEFT LANE FOR PASSING ONLY.  Apparently the 9,000 drivers I've encountered over the past few months can't read that street sign.  It makes me so angry when I'm cruising down the highway and I have to flippin' put on my breaks thus canceling my cruise control  because some retard driver pulls in to the lane in front of me and takes their jolly ass time.  SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT.  Please keep this in mind next time you're driving down the highway or I'm probably going to rear end your turtle bumper.

4.  Strong is the new skinny?  Ok, that's legit...I guess.  But is it just me or is this chick on the skinny side as well?  If strong is the new skinny, shouldn't the advertisement be of a woman who is maybe a little more "big boned" to make the chubbies feel better that they can bench 125 lbs?  Don't get me wrong, her body is hot.  But I'm just a little confused.  Just sayin'....

5. We've all made the mistake once or twice of showing our bra straps.  Before the multifunctional straps that can be attached and reattached 5,000 different ways, it was sometimes difficult to cover your bra straps when wearing a racer back tee or a spaghetti string shirt. And well, strapless bras straight up SUCK and I'm positive they were invented by some man who has never worn a bra in his life.  There's really no excuse these days.  So, just an FYI...I really don't want to see your PINK Vicky's bra straps even if they match your stupid dress with PINK plastered on the ass that I'm pretty sure was intended to be a nighty worn in the privacy of your own home.  It reminds me of the fad when it was "cool"(and I use that term VERY lightly) to show your g-string out of your jeans.  I hope this chick enjoyed her movie.

6.  Holy dirty dot (aka Wyandotte county).  Is this car for real?!  Stab me in the eye.  Aren't we over the vampire fad yet?!  Dear Hey-Sus.  This is just embarrassing.  Even funnier...after I snapped this pic at a stop light and passed this car shaking my head and giggling, I realized the driver...was a dude...probably Twilight Mom's 3rd baby daddy.  So you're obsessed with the Twilight Saga...that's fine...I get obsessions.  But to plaster it on your car?!  Even my most obsessed friend, Ren wouldn't be caught dead with this shit on her car.  Somethings are meant to be kept to yourself.  I guess when your child doesn't bring home honor roll bumper stickers or decals, you gotta fill the windows with something...

Phew...I feel so much better now that I've gotten all of that off my chest.

-Stay Sassy, xo

This has gotta be the good life...

My weekend was full of pure happiness. Friday night I spent the evening with my kiddos Otto, Greta, Liesl and Gunnar. Not many things make me happier than to see their faces and their smiles. Saturday morning I had the pleasure of making the drive home to participate in the Get Busy Livin' | Dylan Meier Foundation | 5K run...which I unexpectedly placed 3rd in my age group among women and set a new personal record for myself. I then returned to KC to spend a fabulous afternoon in the sun, wearing my derby hat and hanging out with two great friends, Susannah and Dan. We then ventured to our good friend Raph's house whose brother was celebrating his graduation from UMKC School of Law. Such an amazing family. After that I ventured yet again to Bside surrounding myself by my favorites. Sunday was spent enjoying the weather with Miss Marie and reflecting on how truly blessed I am to have such a wonderful mother. How do you define happiness?

Happiness is my life. 

Happiness is a warm spring day with the sun shining down on my back.
Happiness is taking my little one on a walk and smelling fresh cut grass.
Happiness is waking up at 6:30 to start getting ready for the day, calling my doctor and him telling me I don't need to come in until 10:00.
Happiness is lying in bed for an extra hour and cuddling with my snuggle bunny, Marley.
Happiness is lying in bed listening to Pandora and discovering amazing new artists.
Happiness is being surrounded by friends and family.
Happiness is being back home surrounded by a wondrous community to remember DQM.
Happiness is seeing his family smile knowing he would be so proud.
Happiness is unexpectedly winning an award.
Happiness is being welcomed in to someone else's family and being treated as one of their own.
Happiness is seeing a mother so proud of her child.
Happiness is being back in KC.
Happiness is a wearing big derby hat.
Happiness is sitting on the deck in the sun sipping on Sangria and catching up with old friends.
Happiness is hearing the birds chirp outside my window.
Happiness is a run outside.
Happiness is seeing my kiddos and being greeted with a big hug and a kiss.
Happiness is making them laugh.
Happiness is reading them a book before bed.
Happiness is the smell of fresh, clean sheets.
Happiness is owning and loving my singleness and independence.
Happiness is looking in the mirror and feeling beautiful.
Happiness is being thankful for what God has given me.
Happiness is me being me.

This has gotta be THE GOOD LIFE.

-Stay Sassy, xo

I'm Baaacckkkk

Another six weeks is over which also means my DanVegas sightings and Royal Donut days are over.  I am back in Kansas City for 6 weeks and couldn't be more excited.  My life is pure HAPPINESS right now!

Photo courtesy of
www.brooksiderbarandgrill.com

To The Brooksider:  Thank you for the wonderful welcome back last night and for over serving me.  You never cease to amaze my liver with your endless amounts of Vodka Redbulls and tequila shots.  I will admit, you got me good last night - HUGE shout out and massive THANK YOU to Erica for being kind enough to lend me a hair tie and pat my back while dry heaving....sorry TMI.  But, on a slightly more positive note... I have great news to report.  I didn't get kicked out!!  As many of you may or may not know, I've ran my mouth once or twice.  I'm really good at getting accused of doing crazy things like throwing drinks (WAS NOT ME) and ice (yea, that was me - but we were playing catch).  I look forward to many more dance offs in the Boom Boom Room dancing around like a high schooler on the verge of losing her virginity.

Welcome back toast!

Jay, Me and Abra

To My Friends: I couldn't be happier to be back in KC for the next 6 weeks and am so excited to see everyone more frequently!  Dallas is going to have some big shoes to fill this summer to get me to leave you all and move there.  You all are what makes me love Kansas City so much.  I love my friends and I love, love, love being constantly surrounded by Jayhawks.  I'm still getting used to not freaking out when I see Jayhawk anything on other cars.  I love the feeling of being home, knowing where I'm going and seeing familiar faces no matter what hot spot I decide to frequent (which btw, I need to try all the new restaurants while I'm here, so let's get started).  So here's to many more evenings of fun and laughter together.  Cheers!

-Stay Sassy, xo

P.S. Usama bin Laden is dead.  Hopefully Donald Trump will accept that spelling.  

1,234,984 FB Friends --> RED FLAG

As of today I have 1,418 Facebook friends and believe it or not, I’d put money on it I can remember how I met 99% of the people I’m friends with. But, I’m a girl and I personally believe we have different motives for Facebook than boys do - that's something I won't even get in to.  Moreover, when I log on to Facebook, I check the day’s birthdays (when I remember) and if it’s someone I haven’t spoken to since I met them, I de-friend them. I don’t have the time or energy to go through my entire Facebook list and remove friends in one sitting. And there’s a handful I’d like to de-friend who I’m 100% sure HATED me in high school or whom I never spoke to and who have no need to know about what’s going on in my life, but I don’t want to be a bitch.  So that's what I do. 

Happy Birthday. Unfriend. 

Now, what does this have to do with anything? Well, let me share with you what I’ve been thinking about over the past week. The other night when I was at the Royal Donut here in DanVegas, I was gchatting with one of my besties from KC and catching up. She was telling me all about the new boy she met and how gorgeous he was, blah blah blah – girl talk. Logically, she told me his name so I could fb stalk him. So I did. And yes, I was able to confirm that he was in fact very attractive. That led me to ponder this. Next step – check out his friend list. And that’s when it hit me. She asked me what I thought. And I told her, including the red flag. TWO THOUSAND AND FORTY SIX Facebook friends. Damn.

So I propose this hypothesis. If a guy has more than one thousand Facebook friends, then he is more likely to be a womanizer or player.*  I realize this is not a true scientific experiment, but just go with it.

* College and/or professional athletes do not count because everyone friends them for no apparent reason.

 
"Womanizer: guy who makes zillions of women think he is in love with them and that he is the best guy in the universe but never know he is making 12774763836543 other women think that too." -Urban Dictionary

"Player: a guy who: (1) doesn't understand the meaning of 'relationship'; (2) is in full reproductive mode; (3) is very good at making girls think he is into them (also very proficient at breaking said girls hearts); (4) often "dates" several girls at several schools (girls are often unaware of each other); (5) is an asshole!" - Urban Dictionary

In attempt to prove my hypothesis, I further investigated my Facebook friends and examined the profiles of a few of the guys I could think of off the top of my head who fit this description.  Those descriptors -  likes to party, known to hook up with a lot of chicks (past or present), hot, acts younger than their age etcetera, etcetera.  And there it was - the proof I was looking for.

I’m not going to call anyone out. I’m pretty sure they know who they are without me stating the obvious. But if you don’t believe me, take a look at your friend list. Think of 5-10 guys you know either first hand or through the grapevine that are known for serial dating and/or frequently hooking up with dimes and trolls (you’re the dime, love – clearly). I thought of 10 guys I know though the letter “F” before I quickly got tired of hastily browsing through my fb friends. And just as I suspected. Eight out of ten had more than 1,000 friends with the other two coming in close in the 900s. Moreover, nine of their profile pictures didn’t help their case the slightest. 

For the record, I realize I may be totally off and some of you guys out there with more than 1,000 friends may be happily in a relationship or married. But I bet most of you were known around the Hawk or your respective college bar for one reason or another. 

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Maybe even a thousand or more Facebook friends as well.

-Stay Sassy, xo 

You're not a whore if it's for charity

I'm not sure how many of you have heard of the newest cancer awareness fad...but if you haven't, I'll let you know that I'm totally in to it.  For several years we have been raising breast cancer awareness left and right...don't get me wrong, I totally support it and have raised my fair share of money for the cause.  Boobs feed babies.  But with the male stigma of doctors and doctor's offices, I think it is fabulous men are finally jumping on the band wagon and promoting cancer awareness.

Prostate cancer is the second leading cause of cancer death in men.  It may also be a normal pathologic process of aging and it's estimated that 80% of men have prostate cancer at death.  Even so, prostate cancer should not be overlooked because there is always a chance of metastasis (when the cancer spreads to other organs and lymph nodes in the body).  In 2010, it is estimated that there will be almost 218,000 new cases of prostate cancer and over 32,000 deaths.

Several friends of mine in Kansas City are standing up to prostate cancer and raising awareness through Movember (the month formally known as November).  Check out some of their growths here...

Kevin W.
May or may not be real...you decide...
Either way it's still sick (as in totally hot)

Jason M.

Ben M.

Not only are these guys Mo'Bros, but they're also raising money to support Prostate Cancer Awareness.  Check out their Team Page and donate to their cause.  So far they've raised over $2,000 as a team.  Way to go guys!  You definitely deserve to celebrate November 18 (see below).

Another reason Movember is so awesome...November 18 has been declared, "Have sex with a guy with a mustache day" in support of the Movember movement.  Check it out if you don't believe me.  And as the article says..."you're not a whore if it's for charity."

Ladies...don't worry...if you don't have a mustached male (much like myself) you can still support the cause by being a Mo'Sista.  Not only can you donate, but you can also support the men by using Picknik and adding a mustache to your profile pic.

-Stay Sassy, xo