"Here's to KU"

NOTE:  The following article/blog was written by Paul Pierce, a 1998 KU graduate and basketball player (duh) who now plays for the Boston Celtics and is a team captain.  I couldn't pass up sharing a little Jayhawk love...

So who’s still standing in their NCAA pool? I can’t let you in on who’s ahead in our locker room, but I was doing pretty well up until my alma mater let me down. I was crushed when the Jayhawks lost to VCU last week. Not only did it kill my bracket, but I also just couldn’t believe it. I gotta give it to the Rams though, they’ve been playing amazing ball. They’ve got heart, and Coach Smart is…well…smart.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that I was rootin’ for Kansas all the way, and I was pretty excited because the Jayhawks killed it against Illinois and Richmond. I thought it was smooth sailing to the Final Four -- but look what happened! It’s been a crazy tourney this year, but real exciting to watch.

I give KU props, though. They came a long way and outlasted a bunch of other top squads in the tournament like Louisville and Duke. Kansas is always in it and certainly had a good chance this year. I pick them every year to win it because that there’s my alma mater, and I gotta stay true to my roots. But this year they realistically had a great shot at winning it all. They’re quick and well-coached. I like the way they play. I had them up against North Carolina in my final. Gotta give some love to Roy Williams.

But man, another former coach also just about sunk my whole bracket this year. I mean, Rick Pitino really let me down when Louisville lost in the first round -- just about ruined that whole side of my bracket. I had the Cardinals going to the Elite 8! Come on now Coach P., after all those laps I ran for you? Least you could’ve done is get to the Sweet 16 -- but I can’t hate. L’Ville is a strong squad and they don’t call it March Madness for nothing.

Anyway, people ask me if I miss college around this time of year. It’s definitely a special experience being part of the tournament, especially when you go to a school that has the history and tradition Kansas does. I always enjoy this time of year; it’s one of the biggest tournaments in all the world. It was always a fun when I was at Kansas, everybody getting so excited, dressed in blue, watchin’ us on TV. It was unforgettable – and I think it prepared me a little for what the NBA is like.

But when I was at KU, things were different. Not many guys went straight to the pros so early. Most of us stayed for three or four years before going on to the big time. That’s a big difference from today. Now, I can’t blame the guys for goin’ to the league when they get the chance, but a couple years in college definitely gives you the added preparation you need and gives your body the time to grow so you can withstand the long NBA season.

March always makes me think about what it was like when I was a Jayhawk, all the great rivalries. I remember playin’ against Tyronn Lue a lot when he was at Nebraska. That was fun, and then we both ended up playin here in Boston - he even came to my Truth Strikes Again at Foxwoods back in December. We’ve stayed close, which is cool, but I’m definitely not rootin’ for his Huskers any time soon. College rivalries are classic. And what’s cool in college is the rivalries are all about the teams and uniforms vs. individual players. Of course there’s Duke-North Carolina, but I remember the KU -- K-State games. Those in-state tilts were always huge, and it was no different in Kansas. We did a lot of prep for those, and us vs. Missouri was another strong one. Hate to say it, but I never did win a game in Missouri in my time at Kansas. Still gets under my skin. Can you tell?

So even though my bracket didn’t pan out, I’m still proud of Kansas for making it as far as they did. Coach and the guys had a great season -- I know what they’re goin’ through, but you move on and put all your focus into next year. It’s tough because in tournaments like this, no matter how far you make it, only one team wins it all.

---Paul Pierce

Lovin' my Jayhawks...always and forever

-Stay Sassy, xo

1,234,984 FB Friends --> RED FLAG

As of today I have 1,418 Facebook friends and believe it or not, I’d put money on it I can remember how I met 99% of the people I’m friends with. But, I’m a girl and I personally believe we have different motives for Facebook than boys do - that's something I won't even get in to.  Moreover, when I log on to Facebook, I check the day’s birthdays (when I remember) and if it’s someone I haven’t spoken to since I met them, I de-friend them. I don’t have the time or energy to go through my entire Facebook list and remove friends in one sitting. And there’s a handful I’d like to de-friend who I’m 100% sure HATED me in high school or whom I never spoke to and who have no need to know about what’s going on in my life, but I don’t want to be a bitch.  So that's what I do. 

Happy Birthday. Unfriend. 

Now, what does this have to do with anything? Well, let me share with you what I’ve been thinking about over the past week. The other night when I was at the Royal Donut here in DanVegas, I was gchatting with one of my besties from KC and catching up. She was telling me all about the new boy she met and how gorgeous he was, blah blah blah – girl talk. Logically, she told me his name so I could fb stalk him. So I did. And yes, I was able to confirm that he was in fact very attractive. That led me to ponder this. Next step – check out his friend list. And that’s when it hit me. She asked me what I thought. And I told her, including the red flag. TWO THOUSAND AND FORTY SIX Facebook friends. Damn.

So I propose this hypothesis. If a guy has more than one thousand Facebook friends, then he is more likely to be a womanizer or player.*  I realize this is not a true scientific experiment, but just go with it.

* College and/or professional athletes do not count because everyone friends them for no apparent reason.

 
"Womanizer: guy who makes zillions of women think he is in love with them and that he is the best guy in the universe but never know he is making 12774763836543 other women think that too." -Urban Dictionary

"Player: a guy who: (1) doesn't understand the meaning of 'relationship'; (2) is in full reproductive mode; (3) is very good at making girls think he is into them (also very proficient at breaking said girls hearts); (4) often "dates" several girls at several schools (girls are often unaware of each other); (5) is an asshole!" - Urban Dictionary

In attempt to prove my hypothesis, I further investigated my Facebook friends and examined the profiles of a few of the guys I could think of off the top of my head who fit this description.  Those descriptors -  likes to party, known to hook up with a lot of chicks (past or present), hot, acts younger than their age etcetera, etcetera.  And there it was - the proof I was looking for.

I’m not going to call anyone out. I’m pretty sure they know who they are without me stating the obvious. But if you don’t believe me, take a look at your friend list. Think of 5-10 guys you know either first hand or through the grapevine that are known for serial dating and/or frequently hooking up with dimes and trolls (you’re the dime, love – clearly). I thought of 10 guys I know though the letter “F” before I quickly got tired of hastily browsing through my fb friends. And just as I suspected. Eight out of ten had more than 1,000 friends with the other two coming in close in the 900s. Moreover, nine of their profile pictures didn’t help their case the slightest. 

For the record, I realize I may be totally off and some of you guys out there with more than 1,000 friends may be happily in a relationship or married. But I bet most of you were known around the Hawk or your respective college bar for one reason or another. 

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Maybe even a thousand or more Facebook friends as well.

-Stay Sassy, xo 

SPOTTED: DanVegas, Week Two

"Check us out on Facebook" but only after
you come in, buy a donut or a dozen, a cup
of joe and use our free wifi.

Life in Danville continues to be more interesting every day.  It has been an experience thus far, to say the least.  On Friday, as mentioned previously, I made my way to BWW for basketball and beers.  The night couldn't have ended any better for a Friday night in Danville.  Shortly after blogging and enjoying my fried pickles and Jayhawk win over Richmond, I offered my table to the group next to me who had sparked conversation with me based on my Jayhawk shirt.  A few beers later I had four new friends - Derek, Laura, Allen and Nancy - and of course Derek and Laura's two teenage sons.  I learned all about the town of Danville including where not to go, which happens to be only a few blocks from the VA.  Awesome.  They were the sweetest people and even picked up my tab.  Derek and Laura again invited me over Sunday for more basketball and welcomed me like I was one of their own (even though I was the only one rooting for the Jayhawks - tough loss in a room where everyone is rooting against you).  Big thanks to them for making me feel at home hundreds of miles from home!  

I've had my eye out for a few DanVegas sitings and here are a few I stumbled across today.  Enjoy!

Clearance??  At Family DOLLAR?  Dear hey-sus, how much cheaper can it get?

Something about a restaurant in Danville named "Wiener Works" 
makes me not want to have a "Wiener" near my mouth any time soon...
no matter what kind it is or what special toppings they offer.

There you have it America - day old Coconut Pie for $3.31....and yes, it includes
a free coffee with ENDLESS refills.  I bring my own Fat Free Coffee-mate and
Splenda to cut down on the true dairy cream they offer here.

JoAnn the "Donut Queen" slinging donuts - 
I just found out not only was she a "dancer"
back in her younger days (not a stripper)
she also wanted to be a nun and her family
was in the mafia...oh man.

Finally, props to the Queen of Donuts, Miss JoAnn (employee for 8 years and who apparently was going to be a nun) working the counter today at the Royal Donut.  She keeps everyone's coffee cups filled and moves as fast as that 65+ year old body will let her.  God Bless her.  She seems like my kind of woman - a little firecracker.  I've heard her drop a few curse words talking to the locals and she even chased a few hoosiers (as they call hooligans in this area) out who were causing a ruckus.  I kindly asked her what pie she suggested - Lemon Meringue or Coconut and she responded, "I don't like any of em."  Well then. I should have taken the hint and stuck to the donuts as the slice of pie was far from decadent.  I'll remember that next time.

Lovin' America, lovin' DanVegas, JoAnn and the Royal Donut.

-Stay Sassy, xo

I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T...Do You Know What that Means?

So here I am, sitting at a bar...all alone...in the lovely town of Danville. At the rate I'm going, I'm going to be a regular at Buffalo Wild Wings. Just as I predicted, I'm posted up, at my own table, with a Coors Light, a dash of salt, Fried Pickles...and my computer. I'm not sure if the stares that I am getting are because a.) I'm alone; b.) I'm using my computer; c.) I'm wearing a JAYHAWK shirt; or d.) all of the above. My shirt alone is enough to get a rise out of someone considering I'm only 30 minutes from the University of Illinois (where Bill Self coached before KU and our most recent opponent, who we BEAT - as if you weren't aware). I promise you, I'm wearing my Jayhawk shirt with PRIDE!!

I'd say my stats are pretty good. Since I've been here, I've made friends with the next table - although our conversation started with a Jayhawk insult and some guy just asked me for my number. I politely turned him down. And just for the record - he had all his teeth.

Lovin' America, Buffalo Wild Wings and lovin' my Jayhawks on the corner TV in the back.

-Stay Sassy, xo

Tales from the Crypt Keeper

If my life were a movie, it would be a thriller.  I am living on the set of a horror movie.  Picture yourself in one of those cheesy "Please don't kill me, Mr. Scary Man" soft porn horror movies.  That is my life. Don't believe me, check this out for yourself.

Ch-ch-ch-ch Ka-ka-ka-ka

Friday the 13th

*and notice...No 3G Network (probably no 4G for that matter)

Danville VA
 Hospital?  Or Colonial Mansion/Haunted House?

Lucky for me, due to some mishaps at the STL John Cochran VA, I was sent to Danville with another classmate.  She arrived in Danville before me so I gave her the code to my pad-locked room and these are the pictures she sent me so I knew what I would be arriving to...

Building 35
My home?  Or a Half-Way House?

Yep....this is my room!  Numero 6.

Be VERY, VERY Jealous.  I'm living in the dorms again.
And yes, I do have shower shoes.

The first time I sat down on my bed (after I'd covered it in 14 layers of sheets of course), it almost sunk to the ground and I nearly fell off.  I don't even think that thing is classified as a mattress.  I'm not sure if any of you have ever felt a hospital mattress, but this is pretty much what it is.  But, the good news, if I happen to wet the bed, it will wipe right off!

Nate Berkus - eat your mother f'in heart out!

Lovin' life in the 'Ville and lovin' America.

-Stay Sassy, xo

Greetings from the ROYAL DONUT

Image courtesy of the Royal Donut

Have you been wondering where I am (which I'm sure ALLLLL of you have)?  Well no worries - I'm alive and currently at one of three locations in the great establishment of Danville, IL that has wireless internet.  Yes.  You read correct.  One of ONLY THREE places with wireless internet.  So, with that being said, over the next 6 weeks, you may not hear much from me.  My establishment here is without internet so I must pack up my Mac and make the drive to one of two Royal Donut locations for a little internet time, a coffee and at least one calorie filled donut.  While I'm making no claim to beauty, I can guarantee the gentlemen here won't mind the 50 pounds I'm going to be putting on thanks to the Royal Donut.  Wireless is only available to customers meaning I MUST make a 78 cent purchase in order to use the net and write to you.  My donut clerk is a gem.  She has a lisp and moves about as fast as a snail.  Since I've been here, there have been approximately 5 customers (mostly via the drive through) and I'm pretty sure I'm at the  "busy" location.

I don't even know what to say.  If you're not 'Merican, 
you don't deserve to own a liquor store.
*Actual Danville, USA sighting.
I went back around the block to snap
this gem.

Over the next 6 weeks I hope to share some stories of living the "simpler" life here in Danville.  I'm guaranteed to stumble across a few interesting stories and sightings.  For starters, let me give you an idea of the life I'm living here.   Last night my housemates and I went out for a special dinner (to say goodbye to another PA Student from Western Michigan).  The location for that special dinner...Buffalo Wild Wings.  Yep.  B-dubs is considered a delicacy in Danville.  Your only other option for a nice dinner out...Garfield's.  I'm planning to post up at the bar tomorrow night at B-dubs in my KU gear to cheer on my Jayhawks from this sh*t hole town...alone.  I'm sure I'll meet some handsome chap, hopefully with all his teeth and no B.O.  This place is so run down and depressing that none of the students stick around on the weekend.  Well, no one except for me that is.  I'm going to tough it out in our giant house all alone.  Maybe make the 30 minutes "trip" to Champaign - one of the nurses at the VA told me they have a Chili's there...AND A JC PENNEY'S!!!  Booyah!  And that's a step up from this shanty.  Stay tuned.  I'll let you know how it goes.

So here's to six weeks in Danville and loving America.

-Stay Sassy, xo

Nothing Good is "Thick & Creamy"

One of my many food obessions lately has been yogurt. I've always liked it, but since my first rotation at SLU Hospital where they handed Yoplait Yogurt out to students, residents and interns like candy, I've been hooked again. My favorite flavor, in case you're wondering...Very Vanilla. How original...I know. I love dipping my banana in it or adding
Cheerios for a little crunch. 

Moving on. So last week I stopped at the local gettin' store aka Walmart on my way home from work to pick up a few necessities, one of which was yogurt. At 50 cents a pop, you can't go wrong. I picked up at least ten. I was bummed to find they were completely sold out of my most favorite flavor, Very Vanilla. See, I'm not the only plain Jane yogurt lover out there. Apparently the entire town of Edwardsville also loves Very Vanilla. Frantically, in the heat of the moment, I decided I'd give another version a try. The "Thick & Creamy" French Vanilla version. After all, I am French...so it must be legit, right? 

Big mistake. 

BIG. 

HUGE. 

Last night, I peeled back the shiny silver top to give it a whirl. Upon first examination, it looked normal. I put my spoon in to check the consistency and gave it a little stir. And right from there, it was over. I pulled out a spoonful and inspected it closely. I had a hard time getting past the clumpiness that was on my spoon, but being the brave soul that I am, I closed my eyes and shoved it in my mouth. And that's when I almost lost it, literally. I can't even describe to you how nasty and ooey gooey it tasted. I should have known. Nothing "thick & creamy" ever tastes good in your mouth.

I won't fall for that same mistake twice. And I suggest you don't either.

-Stay Sassy, xo

Sotally Tober Texting

So I've gotten in this nasty (or maybe not so bad) habit of deleting my text messages.  Not a big deal you'd think.  Just keeping the phone less cluttered or something like that.  The only problem with this habit is the fact I seem to engage in this type of behavior most frequently after a cocktail...or several.  So you can see the problem this proposes.  Girl goes out.  Girl has a few drinks.  Girl gets tipsy.  Girl gets sassy.  Girl starts texting.  And well I'm sure you can figure out the rest.

Show me your BRAIN!

Last weekend was Mardi Gras here in the Lou (one of the few things I do like about STL) and I was out in full force.  I'm pretty positive I sent several (most likely inappropriate) text messages to every guy I've met, smooched and/or dated/gone on a date with in the past few months.  While I recall a few texting conversations with a certain few, the next morning when I woke up in my clothes from the night before next to my best friend, the evidence had been destroyed.  The first thing we did when we woke up naturally was check our phones to see the damage we had done.  Low and behold, both of us had engaged in the same suspicious behaviors...not one text message in sight.  Pretty sure I learned the trick from her.

Who knows what I said to them, who knows who I actually texted.  The good thing about it, the next day you don't have any regrets about what you said, because you have no idea what you said.  You all know the feeling when you look at your texts from the night before and you think to yourself, "Oh bejesus...I DID NOT text him/her that...did I?"  But the evidence is staring you right in the face.  No denying it.  And nine times out of ten, grief and embarrassment consume you.

So, if you're like me and get finger happy when drinking (with a side of sassy), you can either a) leave your phone at home (yea right, the one time you do that there will be an emergency and you'll be with out your mobile) or b) TEXT AWAY.  I prefer the later.  Text away my friends.  Text...text...text.  And then delete the evidence.  You won't feel as bad the next day because it will be like it never happened.

-Stay Sassy, xo

Trinkets of Boyfriends Past

As I got ready for another day today I scoured my jewelry box for a specific "M" necklace from Tiffanys I wanted to wear and I couldn't find it. I was certain I needed to wear some type of necklace with the shirt I'm wearing - a low cut v-neck with boobies hanging out....KIDDING. I'm rotating at a pediatrics office - you know what kids think of those things?? Haha...lunch (insert Look Who's Talking voice). Anyway, so as I fumbled through some necklaces and I came across an old trinket I was for sure I had lost until now. A beautiful necklace with three vertical diamonds I received from a boyfriend some time ago. And I got to thinking...to wear?  Or not to wear? 

First off, we aren't talking about rings here.  Just a necklace.  I've heard discussions on the what-to-dos with old jewelry when you break up with your man like pawn it, etc. But quite frankly, I think it's all crap. I say wear it. Love it. Enjoy it. He gave it to you for a reason. Because at one point he loved you and everything about you and wanted you to have it as a gift. I can almost guarantee one of the many gifts I gave him is in his back pocket - and I carry the bag he got me almost daily - so why should jewels be any different? -And just to put it out there, I'd probably still wear a ring, unless of course it was an engagement ring.

He may not love you anymore or even know if you still exist. But at one time, things were different. I think it's absolutely silly to let beautiful jewelry go to waste. We all know diamonds aren't cheap...neither is most jewelry, especially with my fine taste of Tiffany and my good 'ol friend David (Yurman). I've had this necklace on all day and except for the second I pulled it out and right now (because I'm consciously writing about it), I haven't thought of him once.

So if your excuse for not wearing something is because it brings back bad memories - get over it. Diamonds are a girls best friend.  Designer bags are a close second for me. I will proudly sport the necklace and several other pieces from Tiffanys he bought for me and love every minute of it. After all, at one point in history each item was bought out of love.  And that's just what this world needs...more lovin'

-Stay Sassy, xo

Mastering THE HULK

Today boys..uh-hem...I mean, men...we are going to discuss the art of mastering what my friend Jen and I like to call, "The Hulk."  It is a move all men should know about, learn and practice religiously.  

 

Image courtsey of this site.

Aren't sure what "The Hulk" is?  Don't fret.  You may have also heard names or phrases  including, but not limited to, the "holy shit that was rediculously hot" move, the "wrap the arm around her and flip her on her back so she feels like a feather" move or simply put, the "tossing a girl in bed" move.



Now, listen vurrrrrry closely.  Women like to feel beautiful, even in our most exposed moments...including in bed.  We like feeling skinny and nothing makes us feel tinier than when you're mid-nook and your guy wraps his arm around your waist, flips you over with the strength of body builder, but then lies you down ever so gently like a delecate flower.  The Hulk.  The move alone will get your girl all excited.  She'll feel sexy and light as a feather - the two best feelings in the world...next to...you know, what that move will probably lead to.  

So, keeping it short and sweet - learn it, know it, practice it and master it.  I suggest you hit the gym and work on those bicep muscles so when you actually try The Hulk, you don't fumble and fail miserably.  If you plop her down on the bed, most likely she's going to feel like a fat cow.  And that, my friends, is no bueno.  It may not ruin the moment completely, but it will definitely put a damper on her arousal.  Plus, we get tired too.  And no girl likes a DFF....just sayin'

-Stay Sassy, xo