The answer to your question is yes. Yes, Mark, I am scared to be your "friend." Because I have no idea on Earth who the hell you are. We have ZERO friends in common. You live no where near me. And the fact you noticed after at least three months that I still haven't accepted your friendship creeps me out even more. You even have the balls to inquire why your request is still pending. So no, I'm sorry, we will not be Facebook friends anytime soon. You are the reason I have my profile set to private, removed my last name, and the most personal information you can obtain about me are my favorite quotations. EXHIBIT B: THE GUY WHO CLAIMS TO BE FROM YOUR HOME TOWN WHO YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF & SENDS YOU A MESSAGE
First off, Aaron, that's really sweet of you to send such a nice message to me based solely off my profile picture. I'm flattered. Really. Just an FYI, I went to Kansas. Therefore, I have a slight hatred for the K-State Wildcats. Also, being a Chiefs fan, I'm a Raider Hater. Sadly, I won't be friending you. Not only because messages like this give me the heeby-jeebies and leave me wondering how often you send messages like this and/or touch yourself inappropriately while Facebook stalking....but also because you've now de-activated your Facebook account which also worries me. I will not be sharing anything about myself with you nor do I have any other questions about who you are. I hope you didn't do anything stupid waiting for friendship requests from all the cute girls you send messages like this to. Oh, and btw...double smile faces from a guy...ehhh...no bueno. EXHIBIT C: THE SARCASTIC ATTEMPT TO CASUALLY CREEP
Jon, you seriously take the cake for being the absolute biggest creep I've ever encountered on Facebook. If there were a prize for being a Facebook Stalker, you'd win the equivalent of the Publishers Clearing House Mega-Jackpot. Not only is this message ridiculously fabricated, if you would have taken a second to stalk a little harder beyond my profile picture, you would have noticed that I am a graduate student at SLU (a private school). So, if you'd like to split half of the money I don't have...you can take and repay half of my student loans - about $35,000 give or take a couple grand. I'm totally cool with that. I hope you never thought of me again after sending this disturbing message. Next time you decide to approach a girl like this, I suggest you think twice...and instead of closing your eyes and hitting send...save your dignity and click the cancel button.-Stay Sassy, xo
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