True Life: I'm in Dating Detox

I promise this blog is not going to be the journey to me finding my soul mate...I'm actually engaging in Dating Detox (see below).  But is going to be about the so far very intriguing book I received for Christmas, Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate.  I received this book from my favorite sister-in-law after she hoped it would "inspire me" and my blog.  Well it for sure has.  I've blogged about Patti Stanger in the past (read here). I love Millionaire Matchmaker and Patti, so I was super excited to see what she had to say in her book.  

I just finished reading the introduction and Step One: Dating Detox.  While I think I've already been in this stage for the past few months, I'd like to remain here just a little bit longer because I'm loving it!  In Patti's words, during Dating Detox, "Don't even think about going out on a date."  Ok, fine.  I won't.  I'm totally fine with this because I'm getting ready to dive in to the hardest twelve months of my life.  I don't have time for "dating" and all the b.s. that comes with it like wondering when he's going to call or text me next, gchat me, or wonder about whatever the hell he's doing sitting there at his f*cking computer until his name goes idle (don't act like you've never done that ladies). 

And now Patti says, it's time to determine my type.  So, according to Patti, I start with the last few guys I've dated.  They each get 5 qualities I loved/liked about them, and 5 qualities that made me want to shove their faces in to a brick wall.  Here it goes...(no specific order of course to obscure any identities):

Likes:

1. Funny
2. Always paid for dates (said it was his duty)
3. Successful
4. Tall
5. Educated
6. Handsome
7. Amazing cook (could also lead to weight gain)
8. Smart
9. Grounded
10. Amazing sex*
11. Chivalrous
12. Romantic
13. Pleasing
14. Loved traveling
15. Educated
16. Outgoing
17. Tall
18. Educated
19. Athletic
20. Gentleman 

Dislikes:

1. Immature
2. Sketchy
3. Drank too much
4. Not aggressive enough
5. Smoker
6. Unemotional
7. Closed off
8. Jaded
9. Blunt
10. Selfish
11. Mama's Boy
12. Fake
13. Label obsessed
14. Bull shitter
15. Immature
16. Smoker
17. Too quiet
18. Lacked confidence
19. Known serial dater
20. Partied...A LOT 

So from that Patti, I conclude um...not much.  Thanks for nothing.  So... I like an educated guy...that was about the only thing they all had in common. I'll leave you with these words in case you do the same exercise and conclude only that you've dated a lot of selfish, immature jackasses:

"It’s usually the smartest ones who take the longest to get married, because they can’t get their minds in sync with their hearts and bodies." - Patti Stanger

I'm hoping to figure it out by the time I'm 30.  I have a little over 3 years to go...it's game on...after detox of course.  Until then, all you handsome suitors out there dying to date me (pshhh...good one, I know, it's funny, right?), I'm taking reservations.  Remember, the best restaurants are booked weeks in advance, why not me?**  And until then, I'm thinking of myself like a great wine.  For sure a Pinot Noir.  According to About.Com, "Pinot Noir may be the toughest grape to grow, but the effort is often well worth the constant care and investment."  Sounds about right and I promise, as all (or a few) of my exes are kicking themselves for being dumb, the right guy will already have realized I'm well worth the investment...when I'm ready for him, of course.  Plus, I'm only getting better and more valuable with age.**

-Stay Sassy, xo

*Sorry to disappoint anyone who thought I was holding out until marriage.  It is 2010.

**Text adapted from Patti Stanger's book, Become Your Own Matchmaker