FU VDAY

Let me take this moment to be a bitter single bitch this Valentine's Day season.  Most days I can handle being alone.  Most days I actually enjoy being single.  I have no one to answer to.  I don't have to confirm my weekend plans with anyone except those I'm spending the evening with.  It's great.  But Valentine's Day...that's another story.  Someone told me to just not think about it (clearly a dude).  Okay...right.  It must be that simple. 

Not think about it?  How are you supposed to not think about it when walking through the grocery store you are surrounded by gushy "I Love You" balloons, cards, candy and all those dumb stuffed animals?  ***see ADDENDUM below***

Avoid the grocery store?  Okay.

Then there's the radio.  Every radio station is talking about what to get your Valentine this year.  All the latest polls with all the latest fads.  Then of course the ads...oh the ads.  Get your Valentine roses from here, pre-order from there.  Make reservations here. 

Turn off the radio?  Okay.

Oh...side note...by the way -  if you're interested...White Castle will lay down table cloths and put flowers on the table for you this Valentine's Day.  Seriously.  I heard it on the radio.  Reallll classy.  If my imaginary boyfriend took me to White Castle for slingers on V-day I would break up with him on the spot.  Probably after I slapped him across the face and called him a few inappropriate names that I won't say because my mother might read this.

Make your reservations here.

And then there's Facebook. Ohhh Facebook.  I can't tell you how many times I've stumbled across post this as your status if you have a man that you love and blah blah blah...BULLSHIT!  Change your profile picture to you and the person you love to show them how special they are to you.  Okay!  Is it appropriate for me to post a picture of Hiroshima?  I think not.

Get off Facebook?  Yea right.

So all you love birds out there, enjoy your Valentine's Day with your sweet heart(s).  And ladies - please, please, please post pictures of the flowers he sent you, the diamonds he gave you and whatever else so that all of us singles can be reminded that we didn't get shit.  Just remember though, as stated above,  my Valentine runs on batteries...therefore when your Valentine "goes" for the last time...mine will keep going...and going...and going...and going...

-Stay Sassy, xo


ADDENDUM:
So I just ran to Walgreens to get stamps to send a few Valentine's Day cards (see, I'm not totally bitter) and much to my surprise...I immediately laughed to myself when I walked through the door  at the irony of the situation.  There was no way I could pass this up.  I went back to my car to grab my phone to snag a few photos like a Chinese tourist.


EXHIBIT A:

EXHIBIT B:

Now you try to ignore that...